How do I say it

 How Do I Say It?

It's on the tip of my tongue, but there it stays. Back down my throat it goes; there it remains. Why can't I say it? It feels like being on an edge that somebody could push me off of. I want to jump, but who will catch me? What if I fall and fall endlessly or hit the ground from such a height I shatter into pieces? 

I want to say it. I'm fragile though I wish to be strong. I cannot be. So shall I be silent? I can't speak. I'm paralyzed because three words never meant this to me. 

Will you hold my darkest places in the middle of the night? Will you leave me hopeless and breathless, crying as I might? Words I can't speak haunting me, but it's not just words with you it means more than anything. I can't breath I can't think I'm lost and scared can you even see me? It's not just that it's everything. I'm scared and haunted and I can't let them be free. Is this what makes you leave?