Dark Devotion

Devotion. What has happened to me? I feel him all around me, next to me, even within my head. Years of watching from a distance, wondering about the truth of the man could never have prepared me for this. Secrets I now hold for him are locked away in my psyche, will it drive me to insanity? I don't know what I'm feeling, but by the time I realized it, it was too late. Before I realized, I was lost in his mind, stranded in his soul. I never meant for this to happen and now, I can't stop. Could I? I don't know myself any longer. Could I convince myself to walk away? He's put his mark on me, how could I leave? Would I feel him forever? It's my choice, isn't it?

Isn't it?

Tell me it is.

Let me believe it.

Tell me I could stop whenever I want to.

I crave your beautiful lies. 

Say it's my own free will and I'll pretend with you.

Please say it. 

How should I run when I find myself holding a candle leading you out of the darkness you cannot hide from? How can I turn away when your hand reaches for mine from where you fell? How should I leave you to the empty void that chases you down without mercy? A soul tormented, should I offer no escape? Tell me you won't let it consume me, too. Tell me the pain will mean nothing and that those same hands will gently bring me back to life. Please say it's safe. Please say I'm free. Please tell me every dark truth and then we can erase our every fear with make-believe. I'll pretend as if I could go. Tell me I could. 

Please tell me.