Masquerade

Have I killed her? The girl in the mirror? Is she unrecognizable yet? Has she numbed herself enough to finally forget? 

It doesn’t matter what I wear they tear at my seams regardless, so why not embrace this void this darkness, why not be heartless? 

To love and be loved, to be devoted endlessly. I’m a hopeless romantic and it’s ending me. I don’t want to feel anymore so to drown it out I’ll sell myself short and surrender to doubt. See, I can pursue meaningless pleasures and be someone who feels nothing at all. But it’s cold and it’s empty and it’s a painful fall. It has to be better than wasting my heart again. It has to be better than where I’ve been. To feel so deeply to be so loyal and betrayed, it’s a waste and it almost killed me so I must stay away. Build the cage. Fight the fates. Ignore the rage. Slave to pain. It’s the only way. Survive the day. Only to save, stay sane, lose my way, masquerade, the price I’ll pay.