Now what?

I don't want to love you. It's so hard not to. When I see the man you are when I know the man you'll be. Please, I can't fall in love with you. But when you touch me I come back to life. I can't spend too long looking in your eyes. I can't let you see inside. I hold my tongue and hide my heart, but now I'm picking up the pen let the writing start. It's already gone too far. Now I'm waiting for every text and call, counting the minutes trying to stall. Don't break down my walls. Can't let you in, can't hurt again but it was never by your hands. You need a me that doesn't exist. I wish I could be her for you. My dreams are too big for us to make sense, too far away so I keep up this fence. I caught myself daydreaming about the whole picture with you, but I still have so many things I'm meant to do. It's only just begun and I can't stop now, but when did this connection get so loud?