Ehh

Sometimes I can pass as fine, but I’m always a prisoner of my mind. 

Screaming pleading seeking meaning, alone in the dark but it’s better than bleeding.  Nothing is real nothing feels right. I’m alright. Post-mental-breakdown, it’s all blurry. Trying to build myself back up but I’m not in a hurry. The days all seem to play out the same, fear, pain, nobody heard me. I broke in a way I never knew I could but now I can face what I thought I never would. Loss. Grief. Isolation. Stockholm syndrome. Anxiety that eats away at the light I can see and tells me, there is no home. My consciousness begging for an escape. To run away. Begging to be free. Begging to be accepted. No longer. I’m not here right now, but tomorrow I’ll be around. I just have to let my brain meltdown. I’ll build someone new and stay strong, but I can’t shake the feeling it’s too late and my life is gone.