What the fuckery is this?

Hope my title puts you off, takes you by suprise. I don't want you to hold your breath, go on and let out your weary sigh. Don't give it a thought, dismiss with a scoff and redirect your eyes. It's all lies. Every little secret glance and everytime I took the chance, to look if your were looking not to the one who mistook me. No, really, what the fuckery is this? Nothings going on right? There's nothing that they missed. Take back your little bits and pieces you gave to me, you didn't mean it so, forgive me if I'm being too bold. Bold enough to suck it up pretend it's nothing that's enough. Take back the look in your eyes when you knew something shifted, the air got a little thicker and some of the weight lifted. Are you having fun yet, are you still scared, because if you show me where to meet you you know I'll be there. Passing by moments and replaying scenes. Fuck if I know what any of it means. I've got to move on and they say that that's healthy. I have to be strong and I have to be stealthy. How can I give you ice how can we undo this spell? I want you too much and things are getting hotter than hell. But you're getting warmer and I'm getting fond, whenever you give me moments I don't know how to respond. But I don't want this to stop. But can you fucking not? I don't want to be guilty or to feel wrong, I hate myself enough I don't need more reasons to come along. I'll sever this I'll recover my stone heart, I never should've let it begin to come apart. Let it be my lesson let it be my scar. I can never let anything go too far.