So not into you

Shit, I know you had to of seen it this time. The intentional resistance. I looked at you for too long that time, the time before that, too quickly. Always I felt as though I had tells. Now if I can only turn those tells into moments. But, wait, you looked for just as long. And if I caught you looking as much as I did then, isn't that something? 

It doesn't matter now, I just have to decide. I wanted it to stop, I really tried to not want you, scolded myself over, and over and over. I can't think about the way you walk in a room, through a room. Impossible to think about the way my heart pounds when you smile. Never to think about those damn eyes, or the way you move your hands. But that's not the worst part, all of that I could ignore. But your gentle nature, what can I say? But I see the man you are, strong but kind, wanting to be, good. And you are, good. That's the worst part of all, we're good, but, we're also, good. But I'm afraid that I am not always going to be good. I have to stay away from you. I have to and it's getting more and more difficult to be in denial.