Swallowing Grief : Escape The Cycle
A lot of people are suffering from grief these days. Please, reach out for help when you're drowning, because it's not a one-way street, it's not a set amount of time that you are supposed to just move on. Everybody has a unique relationship with grief, but in sharing it instead of holding it all on your shoulders, know that though nobody may be able to fully understand, somebody can and will listen. You are not an inconvenience, and what you are going through is very real. I know all too well that it becomes the default to numb yourself after repeated trauma. This is a part of the process for many people who later revisit these feelings at another time when they feel more prepared. Some, never address it at all and have to block out the very memories, the thoughts, the visuals, anything and everything that can send them into a darker state. The darkened state is terrifying, fear of yourself and what you might do as a result of your pain is sometimes debilitating. But in those moments when you feel like absolutely nothing matters, and life can go on without you, and you're too messed up, remember this moment. Remember that grief is the price of love, and yes at times it will feel certain that it is not worth this cost, but without love, why live? You have to fall in love with your own life, (yes easy to say I know) but when you let yourself have the space you need to comprehend what you need to heal, or at least to keep going, TAKE THAT SPACE AND TIME. The world will not end if you give yourself a break, it will not end if you let yourself grieve and laugh and cry and panic and fall apart, because you are capable of survival, and you have potential, even if you can only feel a little dose at a time, to feel joy. To create joy in the lives of those around you, and to respect yourself enough to put in the work of this thing we casually call, life.
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