Missing you

Forever etched into my mind is that image of the moment you stopped breathing. I held your hand as your heart went to zero beats, and it felt like mine went into a million pieces. No. No. My mom. How is it fair when you were my world? How is it fair when my life was for you? It's not. It's not fair but here I am a few days after an attempted overdose with nothing to show for but antidepressants and adjustment disorder. Here I am because "I can't live without you" was more than words but how selfish am I to leave behind who you loved and go home with you? What a fucking mess this is.