Christmas and chest pains

 My chest hurts but I guess it's just my heart breaking, Christmas without you so I distract myself thinking, it'll be over soon but my hands will be shaking. Life without you is just existing and fading. Hold the tears don't let them spill, can't let this thing begin to feel real against my will, it's little moments and seconds mixed in the constant pain, that make me wonder if I'll make it out sane, make it out at all, those minutes I start to fall, I have to stay afloat even if I must stall.